Part 2/7: … Has its Beginning

Team M.E.D. (Day 1)

My first week is a clusterfuck timing wise. I have 2 full days at work (9am to 10pm shifts) where I can do precious little before I’m due to go on a camping trip at the end of the week that I forgot about and is now inconveniently timed. With us having to make at least a kill a week to stay in the game I had to act quick to stand a chance. But I didn’t want to be a dick and take someone out on the first day, these guys had spent a combined £195 to play this game and I didn’t want to shit on them when they hadn’t had a chance to play. If I made it past the first week it would be a miracle

It started like any other day. Wake up, tell the alarm I’m not ready yet, reset alarm, wake up again, brush teeth, do hair, reload guns, go to work. This was to be my routine for the next few weeks. I plan to just head straight to work, gun tucked into my belt and concealed by my hoodie and backpack. Its impossible to see but not ideal to draw in a hurry but I have limited options, if I get in a situation where I have to draw my weapon in defence I’m already dead. I scan outside the house and start making my way, every person on the way to work is a potential assassin. You maintain eye contact with me for just that bit too long, you reach for anything out of sight, you stand around too long and I will put space between us and be ready to draw. My usual 15 minute journey takes over 30 minutes and on passing the American embassy my gun starts slipping from my belt and is about to fall out. I have to walk past hurriedly holding my backpack against my arse in a fashion that made it look like I’d shit myself, thinking “holy fuck if this falls out near these guys, they are going to jump on me”. I keep my cool and waddle to relative safety where I can correct my problem. I make it to work and the door is locked behind of me. I am safe

My colleagues are briefed that they are not to give out any details to anyone of my working schedule and that if anyone we’re not familiar with comes in that they need to let me know with a description in case its my assassin. 5 minutes after we open the front doors, a small rotund asian dude walks in we’ve never seen before and we all look at each other. “Ermahgerd, hes here. How brazen” I whisper to myself before asking if I can help. It wasn’t my assassin and it turned out this dude was kind of a big deal and some Chinese tennis player but already I knew this was going to be difficult. I began my usual morning routine and checked the mainframe to see what was happening with the other assassins and there it was. Somebody had already killed someone. Cold man, fucking cold. Glad I wasn’t the first out, I knew I had to make a move on my target tomorrow or risk making life difficult for myself. Lunch comes around and my pistol is concealed again and I begin to leave and tell the guys to wish me luck. My doorman overhears and asks me why I need luck, and I explain that my assassin could be outside and that I need to be careful before flashing him my concealed gun behind my hoodie. “WHAT IS THIS! WHAT IS THIS!” Izu exclaims, lifting my top to reveal my entire gun as I spin trying to get him off me. “JESUS IZU! You’ll fucking give me away, stop it!” before I once again explain what it is I’m doing and that its not a real gun

Day 1 continues with little else of any worth, lunch was safe if stressful and no other dodgy characters come into work. I research my targets and I check out their street on Google maps, there isn’t very many places to hide out for a long period of time and theres not much to go on with their social media presence, plus its all in Turkish. I’ll have to try and get a cheap kill in the morning on Dogan and Merve. 2 kills and the team out would put me instantly in the lead and make life a lot easier. Meanwhile I take a call off a friend p and I’m asked if we can cancel the camping trip as people are having issues and I tell them it actually works in my favour with the game going on. The pressure is taken off and I now have 4 solid days of hunting and the game will really kick off from Wednesday. I’ll have an early night and I’ll get up early tomorrow and stake out their home and catch them out on the way to work, as bankers they’ll have to leave early. Then I can try and get more kills later in the week. Awesome. My journey home takes twice as long once again but I make it through the front door and the door is locked behind of me. I am safe

Team M.E.D. (Day 2)

I wake up early and I ready my lame attempt at a disguise. These guys live in a well to do area, I have very little opportunity to hide without being questioned so I need a disguise whereby I can sit in plain sight but have nobody pay any attention to me and theres only one, unfortunately quite sad answer. I had to be homeless. I put on my crappiest clothes and grabbed my sleeping bag, grabbing a breakfast on the way. Reaching the street I do a quick recon of the area, its exactly like the Google street view. Nowhere to hide and the targets are in a block of flats and I don’t know exactly which one. I set up camp a little down the way from them, all their routes to work took them past me. It had to happen like this. The bag was laid down, a gun inside of the feet, a gun inside of the head. I would sit and wait and when they came past me I would rise suddenly with a gun in each hand and unload on them while taking in the shock on their faces. It was perfect, the GoPro was lined up ready for the kill cam and I just had to wait. And wait. And wait some more

I was there over 4 hours, and they never went to work. I was gutted, but those 4 hours had been insightful. You see I learned that if you sit on any street in London and you think you are looking weird and suspicious then you’re wrong. That there are some incredibly weird things that go on around you all the time and you wouldn’t realise unless you stayed there and observed people. Importantly my shitty disguise worked, no one looked twice at me and people were making extreme efforts to avoid me by crossing the street. I didn’t want to take the piss so didn’t make eye contact with people or ask for anything and I hoped they would all just ignore me and they did. But that only helped me actually observe what was going on. A man carrying a sports bag walked up and down the street 5 times in under 2 hours, cars would randomly park in the middle of the road for upwards of 15 minutes then just drive off with nothing happening. At one point a car stopped across the road from me and was there ages, then I noticed 2 chaps of eastern European origins talking between themselves and sitting on a wall just 6 feet from me and I got nervous. I worried what they were doing sitting so close to me with this entire street available, I worried for my safety and whether they would potentially attack me and saw a homeless guy as an easy target. I worried they would grab my stuff and run and I wouldn’t know what to do. I kept an eye on them in a reflection on the parked car and another eye on my targets house just in case they came. A door opened beside of the car and a woman exits with a child and sees the child into the car. “Divorced parents, children living at home but father is taking children to school to maintain relationship” I think, and the car drives off and the door shuts. 10 minutes pass and the 2 guys beside me walk across the road and into the door which is unlocked. That man walks past me with that sports bag again

I head to work defeated, sleeping bag in my arms while I hold onto my pistols still trying to look homeless. My assassin could be anywhere and I still need to be vigilant. I get to work and they let me in, my manager asks if everythings ok and Izu goes mental telling me I only lived a few bus stops away and I should have rang him. I again explain about the game and what I’d been doing. But it was reassuring (In the context of the game) that all I really needed to look homeless was a sleeping bag held in a weird way. Following my experience that morning of feeling so vulnerable around those guys and my struggling with the ethics of my disguise I made a donation of £30 to Shelter and felt I’d balanced out the karma at least

Day 2’s drama focused on collecting money from a bank for work. I told them that due to the game I couldn’t collect the money as I had concerns that if I was followed I couldn’t guarantee that I was being followed by an assassin or by someone who wanted to steal the money and that it was a risk I shouldn’t have to make the call on. As it happened I was the only person with ID to do it and my manager agreed to give me money to get a taxi there and back and to take Izu the doorman as protection. I explain the plan to Izu and hes having none of it, “NO!! Don’t be so silly Jonny boy! We’ll walk! We’ll use the taxi money for sandwiches!”. A 20 minute argument ensues as I try to explain why on any other day I would be all about sandwiches but that today was different and he had to go get a taxi right at the front door and we would run into it. He eventually gives in and hails a taxi before grabbing me and bundling me in. In my head it looked cool as fuck like I was the president or something, in reality it was a big burly Nigerian guy manhandling me into a taxi while we giggle to each other like little girls. As we prepare to come away from the bank I ask him to get a cab again and once again he refuses. “We walk back and go into Boots so I can get some spray! I’ll show you how I do it!” (Get some spray is his way of saying hes going to use every sampler there is of perfume and spray himself, the dude comes back from these things smelling like hes stuffed his suit with pot pourri and this explains why). I spit the dummy and tell him I’m getting a taxi and he can do whatever he wants, but he relents and gets my taxi and once again I’m essentially thrown into a taxi and the sandwich money is spent. Work goes by and nothing else happens

Except something does, something that is important. The eggs arrive. Lets talk about the eggs. Theres a customer at work who has a friend who has a shitload of eggs at his farm, the egg man. I had put an order in with the egg man for a dozen eggs for myself and a further 4 dozen eggs to sell to some housemates. I had hatched a plan to run an egg racket at the police station and to provide good quality free range eggs at a cheaper rate than the supermarkets but at a slight mark up from what I was getting them to cover the costs of my own eggs and to make peddling them worth my while. It was a fair deal I thought. I just forgot that they were coming already. I would have to take the eggs home safely and then hope nothing would happen on the way. I load my bag with 60 eggs in total and put on the homeless disguise and make my way back home. My journey home takes twice as long once again but I make it through the front door and the door is locked behind of me. I am safe

The eggs are placed in the fridge and I leave a note to the housemates that their eggs are here and to come pay me when its convenient. Signing off as Benny Rm104 so they know where to find me. I go back to my room, leaving the pistols by the sink in preparation for the morning and update Facebook with a message questioning whether my assassin was even making an effort at this point. 5 minutes later, theres a knock at my door. Ah hah! Egg money, perfect! I get up, I unlock the door and open it. Theres nobody there. “Where the fuck have they gone” I exclaim, when suddenly a man pops into view and shoots me in the stomach

“NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO” I yell, clutching my stomach “how did you get in here! Do you live here! Omg!”

Hes shaking, no trembling, his name is Whitness he tells me. We hug, I congratulate him and he tells me his story. He tells me he only picked up my dossier 30 minutes earlier, he came to scope out the place and saw an opportunity to tail someone into the building. He got questioned by the guy when he didn’t lock the door and then upon being questioned on where his key was he blurted out about the game and how he was hunting me. Showing absolutely no loyalty to a housemate he hadn’t actually met yet this dude then leads my assassin to the communal kitchen. In there they find my egg note. Benny Rm104. “I know where that is, follow me” said Laurence the Third as we know him. Or as I refer to him in my head: Laurence the Betrayer. He stood to one side as this all was regaled to me and he had no idea we didn’t know each other. We had a 3-way introduction between everyone of who we all were and what our relationship to each other was and what this meant in the scope of the game. I went to lead Whitness out of the building and graciously let the man go for a piss before he left, I locked him out and wished him well before returning to bed. It took me 4 hours to calm down enough to fall asleep. It was over, I was devastated, my t-shirt was still wet. Ironically I was shot wearing my Icarus t-shirt and he’d managed to hit me right where Icarus was. I can still feel that wet patch in my mind now. It was over, I was dead and it hadn’t even begun

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